Promises Unkept
by Dark Blood
Summary: Max Tate has been living a lie, but how does he tell somebody this? Simple; He doesn't. After an attempted suicide someone promises to help him get better. Yaoi
1. Prologue: From Mind to Matter

Title: Promises Unkept

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Angst

Pairing: Heh, heh, heh, my little secret until chapter two!

Disclaimer: I don't own shit so please don't sue. The song, _Try Honesty_ (Billy Talent) obviously isn't mine, so don't say I said it was!

AN: I thought it would be neat to have a suicidal Max and a certain someone of whom you shall meet later get together! Please, no one hate me until the next chapter, I swear it will be MUCH better than this hunk-o-crap of a first chapter! 

Prologue: From Mind to Matter

Judy Takako sat alone at the small round kitchen table, her elbows resting before her on the glistening oak. She was pregnant. She didn't want to be, she had told herself whenever she had the chance that this wouldn't happen...and then it did. 

She stupidly fell in love and made a mistake bigger than she had hoped it would be. Her mother refused to speak to her, constantly saying that she should have known better and reminding her of her age. 

_2:36AM_, the clock ticked on, time not stopping for any matter of trouble or despair. Currently Judy sat in her friend's apartment, waiting longingly for dawn to come and grace her with wakefulness. She could hardly sleep, her mind racing as she recalled her mother's words:

_"I will not have a-a _Slut_ living in this household! Get out! GET OUT!_" 

Tears quickly sprung to the blond nineteen-year-olds eyes but she kept them caged, not wanting to free them incase they became wild and unforgiving. Her father hadn't reacted any better. He never spoke a word and his silence was enough to drive Judy to madness. 

She knew it would be hard but she would have to find the man responsible for this. The father...She knew who he was, her boyfriend of three months, and older man by about six years. He was gentle and calm, her exact opposite. Her wild nature and enthusiastic outlook was what drew people to her. Bright blue eyes flared with happiness, bringing light to a cold and misty day. No longer...

A heavy soulful sigh escaped her lips and footsteps were heard emerging from one of the far bedrooms. They came closer and closer still until finally the young woman could feel the other's presence directly behind her. 

"Oh, honey," The sympathetic voice of her best friend sounded, her arms coming around Judy's shoulders lightly as the blond was pulled into an awkward hug. "Things will be alright, I promise."

Judy believed her friend with everything she had. Her heart and soul lay open to the world as a new life developed inside her. She thought of putting the child up for adoption but her heart screeched against it. Other thoughts, abortion, no...This was her chance to correct her life, start over with another one. A newer and younger life...the life of her child. 

Eight years later Judy Tate learned that promises were never always kept. Her friend passed away in a car accident the day the baby was born. The police couldn't understand how the accident came about but the American still blamed it on her 'unlucky baby'. She married her boyfriend for the sake of a normal enough family to give to the child only to receive a divorce six days after her son's fifth birthday. She hated Max, her son and only child. She called him deceitful, stupid, whatever other word she could muster she would yell. 

She soon found the joys of pain. Learning how to smack him at certain angles which would make him cry, make him apologize for things he never did. The torture kept her going, his pain kept her alive. 

His pain soon carried out over the years until finally his father asked him to join him in Japan where he would meet his friends. People Judy despised just as much as Max. They liked him and she didn't want that. 

She hated the attention he was getting from the man who loved _her_. She wanted him gone. His pain was the next best thing. Watching him hurt himself at her expense was beautiful. So young and naïve but yet already with wounds so deep they leave everlasting scars of turmoil. 

Judy stayed in America, not expecting to see the bastard or his offspring again. She prayed she'd never have to. She ignored the phone when it rang for her, her son's expecting voice cheerfully leaving a message saying that he really missed her and still loved her no matter what. Those words killed her inside. Finding herself miserable without the anguish in his face whenever she cried, without his pleading tone when she would yell at him or smack him...

She never hurt him that badly in her opinion...Never that badly...

She had promised her son the world before he was born, she had promised him a wonderful life and a beautiful wedding, and everything a mother should be promising for her son she promised. 

It was only afterwards she learned, only afterwards she knew promises were meant to be broken and so that's what she did. She broke them and along with them she broke her son, her family and her life...


	2. Problems Solved, If Only

Title: Promises Unkept

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Angst

Pairing: Heh, heh, heh, my little secret until chapter two!

Disclaimer: I don't own shit so please don't sue. The song, _Try Honesty_ (Billy Talent) obviously isn't mine, so don't say I said it was!

AN: I thought it would be neat to have a suicidal Max and a certain someone of whom you shall meet later get together! Please, no one hate me until the next chapter, I swear it will be MUCH better than this hunk-o-crap of a first chapter! 

Problems Solved, If Only...

Lifeless cerulean eyes stared over the vast stretch of cityscape below the high-rise hotel. Light tuffs of silky blond hair blew across the emotionless face as a battle raged inside the American boy. Max Tate sat perfectly still on the balcony railing, his mind racing with answerless questions. 

_Why can't everything be perfect?_ He thought, tears springing to his eyes. Lately he became concerned with minute things, things which never really mattered to him before. Old scars began to re-open, memories began to swim in his mind, relaying images of a past rather forgotten. A past no one knew about. The cold night air nipped at his skin, biting him harshly and changing it to a blemished red. 

_~**Well I tripped, I fell down naked  
I scratched my knees, they bled  
Sew up my eyes, need no more  
In our game there is no score**~_

_I can't make everyone happy…I wish I could remember how to…_He sniffed aloud, letting the tears fall, leaving frosty trails rivering down his cheeks. _Why? Why can't _I_ be perfect for all of them? If only they knew!_

Max had so many things he wanted to know. He knew it wasn't very big a deal, at least not to the others. He couldn't tell his friends what he was feeling, not now. It had become too much of a habit not to tell how he really felt about things. Only to go along with the mood and worry when Rei or Tyson worried, laugh when cheerfulness was at a loss. _He_ was the someone to make things better again, but there was never anyone to make anything better for him. No one ever bothered to ask how he felt in the morning. 

_~**Forgive me father, why should you bother?  
Try honesty, Try honestly  
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck  
Right over me, Right over me**~_

_Horrible, I can't go on like this_, is what he knows he would try and answer, of course he never does. They never needed to ask, they always assumed he was doing fine. That he felt okay every single day and that nothing could dampen his spirits unless something happened to one of his closer friends. 

He had been with the BladeBreakers for two and a half years, only traveling with his teammates on exhibition matches or to promote new Beyblade models. They had finally made it to the match in Germany before heading to India, where the World Championships were being held that year, to hold their title. Rei and Kai were rooming together as usual and Kenny slept alone with Dizzy, constantly trying to make installments to the Beyblades or fixing things up and creating new strategies. 

He stayed with Tyson. Of course, the other boy wasn't around. He and Kai had an un-finished battle to attend to. Everyone else was there, everyone except him. 

Max was afraid suddenly. Afraid he'd blow over and fall with broken wings to the ground below. But then again, that seemed breathtakingly wonderful. He played with the idea, caressing it in a cradle of jumbled thoughts now silenced by that one decision. No, it was too easy. 

_~Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls  
Die tragedy, Die tragedy  
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake  
Cry Agony, Cry agony~_

Sighing heavily, the blond swung his legs over the side of the railing and hopped back onto the surface of the balcony, sliding the glass doors open before making his way solemnly into the room. The heat was a blessing to his numb skin, prickles of life soon touching him everywhere on whatever was left exposed when he sat outside. 

He made his way slowly over to the bathroom, removing his clothing as he went. 

It had been so long since he could truly smile to his friends. Ever since the American Championships he had grown a little more distant with each passing day. Max knew that Kai had noticed his change in personality. Kai always knew these sorts of things, he wasn't dumb. His rough exterior only added to his charm and Max found that Kai was just like him, lost. 

_~I'm insane, it's your fault, so sly  
Your well of lies ran dry  
And i cut the cord, free fall  
From so high we seem so small'  
  
Forgive me father, why should you bother?  
Try honesty, Try honestly~_

It had been the American Tournaments which had changed his life forever. It had been his mother who had made the decision for him. She ended his life before he had a chance to begin it. She enjoyed doing that, ignoring him and then cornering him when he was vulnerable. He never thought his mother could be so isolated and then when he battled, she told him she was proud when Tyson had been there with him...But things change quickly. 

That night his mother had told him how she truly felt. She reminded him time and time again that she told him not to blade for the sake of her team. She wanted to win and now she had been embarrassed before her own home-country and before the head of the BBA. Judy Tate wasn't pleased in the least. 

He still felt the sharp tingle in his cheeks from the times she had smacked him, he could still feel the warm breath on his face from her screams and yells of displeasure. She hated him. That's why he went to live with his father. It made sense, but naturally kind-hearted and delicate Max was always one to forgive mistakes. He forgave his mother, always. Every time she lay a beating on him, he told himself it was for his own good; that he needed it. Whenever she yelled at him and cried out curses and insults, trying to crush him from the inside before out. Usually that tactic worked, he would find himself in front of the mirror, questioning his own abilities, his looks...everything that mattered to him she said was a lie..._everything_ including friends, including Tyson and Rei and Kenny. A lie.

_~Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck  
Right over me, Right over me  
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls  
Die tragedy, Die tragedy  
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake  
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~_

That's when she would strike, battering him more, physically injuring him and laughing erotically at the way he bruised a deep purple or blue the following day. She relished in his pain, tasting his blood and tears as she forced him to the ground, hurting him more than anyone ever could. No mother should do what Judy did to their child. It was sick and Max understood this but he let everything happen the way she wanted it to, he gave up on fighting a long time ago, before the first time...before he even knew she despised his very well-being. Still, he was never ready for her and it pained him mentally and physically each and every passing moment he spent with her alone. 

The spray of the water beat gently on his skin, pinkish scars remaining from the memories which couldn't ever die alone. The water began to burn but Max ignored it, his eyes focused on the small shaving razor someone, most probably Kai, had left in the shower. Rei had been complaining that their shower had no hot water and so Tyson and Max allowed the two eldest team members to use their shower whenever they felt the need.

_~I talk to you  
  
I'm insane, it's your fault  
Try  
I'm insane, it's your fault  
Cry  
I'm insane, it's your fault  
Cry  
  
Forgive me father, why should you bother now?  
Forgive me father, why should you bother now?~_

The cerulean eyed boy lifted the metal blade to his face, inspecting it thoroughly before more questions raced through his mind. Too many questions...

_Perfect…You can't be perfect anyway, so why not let it all go?_

_I won't cut deep_, Max promised, bringing the razor to the pulsing blue vein on his left wrist. More whitish scars could be seen fairly below his inner thighs as well as his lower arms and stomach. He had tried so many times to be rid of the stress, to just fly away with new wings...But he wasn't brave like Tyson or uncaring like Kai, he did care to some small extent. It was those people who stopped him from doing anything too dangerous. It was their faces, their voices, everything about them stopped him when he needed it most. 

_~Forgive me father, why should you bother?  
Try honesty, Try honestly  
Hop in your dump truck, reverse for good luck  
Right over me, Right over me  
Take on the whole world, fight with the young girls  
Die tragedy, Die Tragedy  
Call me a cheapskate, come on for Pete's sake  
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~_

A soft knock could be heard at the door but it went unnoticed. 

Max pressed the sharp metal down into his pale skin, watching it break easily. A sharp pain thrust through him and he pressed his eyes closed until an exotic pleasure overtook him. _Again_, his mind screeched, begging for more of the delicious pain. 

Opening his eyes Max could see the thin line of crimson trailing down his arm, quickly being washed away by the running water. 

"Hey, Maxie, are you in there?" A smooth voice said in long caressing tones, lulling Max's mind into a state of unconsciousness. The door clicked open and the lithe figure moved in, waving a hand through the steamy air. Max could hardly think now and his vision was blurring, he couldn't understand why. With all the times he had done that he thought he should be used to it by then. 

"Max!" The figure cried, catching the blond as he fell over the side of the bathtub, unable to grab the shower curtain in time. The male bent over the unconscious figure beneath him, cradling the boy in his arms when he noticed the blonde's slowly swelling wrist. The blood was coming fast and he needed help soon. 

"Max? Please, oh God don't let this happen!" The figure cried, nuzzling his face in the American's neck. 

_~Cry Agony, Cry Agony  
Try Honesty, Try Honestly  
Cry Agony, Cry Agony~_

Max could hear the sound of the other boy's voice carried into his thoughts as he slowly surfaced back into reality. 

_I never wanted to disappoint anyone…_

-*-

Okie-dokie, chapter one finished and if you want I'll have chapter two up as soon as possible! But I need reviews people, not just one or two little things saying 'nice' or 'continue'. I need more than that! PLEASE!? *Puppy dog eyes* Anywho, this would be my first-ever chapter-y thing so tell what you want and when you want it, okay? Good. 


	3. My Definition of Alone

Title: Promises Unkept

Rating: R

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Angst

Pairing: Heh, heh, heh, my little secret until you read further and find out!

Disclaimer: I don't own shit so please don't sue. The song, _Shattered_ (The Cranberries) obviously isn't mine, so don't say I said it was!

AN: Well, well, well, you all decided to keep reading! Wonderful! Well, now you get to see who the mystery pairing is! A lot of people guessed Kai/Max while others said Tyson/Max…you'll just have to see!! Don't hurt me, those of you who hate the pairing, please, I'd rather not die before the fic is finished *knocks on wood*.  

My Definition of Alone...

The morning came and went, soon the time slipping into the late afternoon and still no movement from the young blond who lay tranquil in the hotel bed. Everyone was thankful that his wounds hadn't been so deep to arouse questions, hoping to keep their American friend's secret just that for a little longer. 

It came as quite the shock to all of them, especially Tyson who thought he knew Max from outside to in like no other. The Japanese blader hadn't left his side since he had found out about what had happened. Even then he blamed himself for not noticing anything. It was Kai who gave him a good jolt back into reality, telling him no one could have known. 

~**_I'm trying to control myself  
So please don't stand in my way  
I've waited for the longest time  
This is what I wanted in my way_**~

Actors perform for a reason, so nobody else can see who they are. That's exactly what Max Tate was, an actor, a faker, someone pretending to be something he's not and never could be...someone happy and at peace with everything. 

The clock continued to tick menacingly behind the one who currently stood, looming over Max, his thoughts racing. Had he not found the boy just then, than there wouldn't have been any hope, Max would have died the night before without anybody knowing until long after. Thank God that hadn't happened. 

~**_Move over, move over  
There's a climax coming in my way  
Move over, move over  
There's a climax coming in my way_**~

The blond stirred, his eyes squeezing further closed before opening widely, and searching the room for any other signs of life. 

Rei rushed forward, settling himself down on the bed beside his teammate, gently cradling his hand. He brushed a few strands of soft cornflower hair away from the seemingly innocent blue eyes which had glossed over in fear and doubt. He had paled considerably, worried about what the Chinese boy would think of him. 

~**_I don't like you, don't compromise  
Shattered by your weakness  
Shattered by your smile  
And I'm not very fond of you, and your lies  
Shattered by your weaknesses  
Shattered by your smile_**~

"Maxie, are you...feeling better?" Rei regretted asking that question. He knew Max wasn't feeling okay; otherwise they wouldn't be in the situation. It was stupid of him to bother trying to be nice, though he had to be for the younger male's sake. 

Despite all he was feeling inside, Max nodded in response to Rei's question, slowly trying to raise himself off of the mattress, but he was forced back down again by the pain stemming from his wrist and coursing through the rest of his body, clutching his heart none to gently in a tight envelope of ache. 

"Take these; they should help the pain..." Rei mumbled, lines of soft crystal tears streaming down the length of his face, falling sorrowfully down onto Max's outstretched hand. Rei placed two painkillers in the other's palm, closing his fingers around them. 

"Rei? Do you hate me now too?" Max asked pitifully, leaning closer to the one sitting before him, his head bent low to his chest, body shaking with silent sobs. 

"Of course not!" The Chinese beyblader muttered, his voice abnormally lifeless. "But..." An uncomfortable silence rested over the two in a tight fitting blanket of unsure emotions. 

~**_All the kids are going back to school  
The summer's over it's the golden rule  
And now I'm coming out to play  
So please don't stand in my way  
And all the things that seemed once to be  
So important to me  
Seem so trivial now that I can see_**~

"Why?" The sudden question surprised them both and Rei blushed at his forwardness, immediately lamenting when he saw the hurtful look which graced the blonde's features. 

"I-I..."Max paused, so many memories charging to the front of his jumbled mind before he had the time to sort any of them out. "You wouldn't understand..."

"You're right, I probably wouldn't...What could be so horrible that you'd have to throw your life away and leave others with the blame---"

"I didn't mean---"

"You can't just do that to us Max! Why didn't you say anything to anyone before!? We would have helped! Instead you go off and---God, I---" Rei choked on his words, burying his head in the crook of Max's neck, his fingernails biting into the skin of the fair haired boy's shoulder. Max held him, stroking the amber eyed boys hair while he shook with cries of despair and betrayal...

~**_Move over, move over  
There's a climax coming my way_**~

He hadn't even known what kind of effect this would have on the others. He never thought for a moment that they would have felt this way...That _he_ would feel this way about him...A warm feeling burst in his stomach, enveloping him in a delicious cloud of peace and calm, something he hadn't found in years. 

"Please don't cry over me..." Max whispered, nuzzling the side of his face into the long strands of raven hair. He didn't want to let go of the only warmth he had felt in years, the only affection he was able to grasp. He wondered if any of the others would feel this way, drugging him with their touch, their very breath. Why hadn't he felt this before when the elder boy was around?

_Because this never happened before_, His mind reasoned, shaking off any possibilities of real emotion. 

~**_Don't like you, don't compromise  
Shattered by your weakness  
Shattered by your smile  
And I'm not very fond of you, and your lies  
Shattered by your weaknesses  
Shattered by your smile_**~

On the contrary, Rei knew exactly how he felt, how he'd felt for more than a year and a half. Max was his only link to life itself, his only beam of light when the darkness surrounded him. Never had he known that it would come down to this. Life and Death, Light and Dark, Cold and Hot...all so different. All so much within Max...

How he loved him. Of course, Rei knew _love_ was a stronger word than how he felt but he identified the feeling as there and real.  

"Promise me," Rei began, not too certain of how he could phrase what he had to say next. "Promise me you won't do anything like that again..." 

The silence stretched for an eternity, the atmosphere in the room hazed with the different emotions flying freely within it. 

"Max, please?" 

Slowly the boy nodded, leaning into Rei's embrace, pressing himself against the Asian boy as more of the warmth engulfed him. 

"I'll help you through this; just don't _ever_ do that again..." Rei tightened his grip on Max, fearing that if he let go, Max would slip away forever. 

~**_Please don't stand in my way_**~

_I want to believe you can help me, Rei, but somehow...I can't…I'm so sorry…_


End file.
